9 ways to identify a Chelsea fan in Nigeria

Club football fans in Nigeria have certain peculiarities that are very obvious. After many years of study and trips to various viewing centers across the country, we at SoccerNation HQ have decided to help you identify a fan and the club they support by drawing up their anatomy. We started with Arsenal and now, we are moving on to the other club in London – Chelsea.

Most likely name

The most likely name for a typical Chelsea fan in Naija is either Rashidi or Suraju (for male) and then Shalewa or Basira (for female)

Most likely occupation

Don’t look too far as this is pretty easy. In case you are in search of a Chelsea fan in Nigeria, just visit the nearest motor park. They are mostly agberos, conductors and motor park chairmen.  Little wonder why their club have an obsession with bus-parking.

Key thing to note

To avoid running into problems with a Chelsea fan in Naija you must understand that to them, it is ‘SHELLSEA’ and not Chelsea. Attempting to correct them or try to show that you know better will only leave you looking like Petr Cech for the rest of your life. Your head will be broken and you will have to go around with an ‘helmet’.

Hobbies

Smoking marijuana, arguing, making noise and then drinking their very own Chelsea dry gin. In whatever they do, they always want to rep their club. Such loyal and distinguished set of people.

Behavior

Fans of Chelsea love their club so much, they get really intolerant and aggressive when anything involving it is the subject matter. Play with them small and a knife can be forgotten in your belly or a bottle can be used to test the strength of your skull. Then again, they can be really loyal. Its not so rare to see Chelsea fans naming their daughters Drogba, Terry or even Kakuta. Yeah, daughters!

Most cherished feat

Chelsea football club have won the Premier League and pretty much other titles in England. What’s more? They’ve conquered Europe by winning the coveted UEFA Champions League. Interestingly, all of these means little to the fans. Guess what they cherish the most? The fact that Lionel Messi has never scored against the club. So, you could be having a conversation with a friend on how great Barcelona is and a Chelsea fan will chip in – “oh BARKA? it is you people they beat na, they are our wives” Remind that fan the year Barcelona knocked them out of the Champions League and his reply would be – “But did Messi score?” It is something they hold very close to their heart and you really can’t fault them. Five time Balon D’or winner not scoring against a club is a big deal, right?

Favorite saying

Pretty much those things you hear at garages in Lagos – “iyalaya anybody” ,”park the bus”, “Speshial one”, “The sky is blue” and so on.

Common beliefs

Didier Drogba is a Nigerian. His real name is Dehinde Aderogba and he only decided not to represent the country because they possibly can’t win laurels. Jose Mourinho is the greatest manager in the history of the game. Sir Alex Ferguson, Pep Guardiola and other managers are beefing him because of his tremendous success. The English FA doesn’t like Chelsea. They don’t want them to win the League and have instructed officials to always rule against them in every game.

Finally, we are ending it with things you should NEVER say to a Chelsea fan: It is none other than the fact that they started supporting the club in the Mourinho era. Trust us, you don’t want to.

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